Friday, August 28, 2015

To My Baby- On Your First Day of Preschool

Well, here we go.  Your first day of preschool is upon us.  I’m not quite sure how this happened, since just the other day I was accepting your tiny body into my arms for the first time.
I was scared, then.  Were you?

It was a whole new world for both of us:  a world full of selflessness and exhaustion for me, a world full of uncertainties and helplessness for you, yet, that world we were scared of soon became a world full of life and vibrancy and smiles and giggles…
We made it through, didn’t we?
We figured things out and made it through together.  It was my job to comfort you, to love you, to sing softly and hum songs in your ear, to cradle you in my arms and assure you everything would be okay.  It was your job to giggle and smile and squeal with delight to assure me that we were doing just fine…

And… we made it through.

Now you and I are about to venture into a whole new world just as we did that day you felt my embrace for the very first time.  We were in that adventure together, weren’t we?  But, this is one adventure we will have to take separately, at least for a little while. 
You are about to enter a whole new world of school. 
A world where you will probably feel the same kind of uncertainty you felt your first day on earth, but I’m quite positive that your world of school will soon be filled with the same life and vibrancy and smiles and giggles that filled your world with me. 
I will still be there at the end of your day to hug you, to whisper comforting words and hum in your ear when things seem uncertain or you feel vulnerable.
And you know what?
I might need those hugs as well.  This is new for me, too.
You’re my first child and we’ve learned a lot in the three short years we’ve been together.  But, what I haven’t learned, is how to leave you in the care of someone new.  I don’t know how I feel about not being your only teacher.  I don’t know how I feel about not being available to be your voice when you can’t seem to find it yourself… 

But, we’ll both be okay, won’t we? 

You’ll make friends who will love your giggle and your mischievous grin and I’ll be happy to see you learn and thrive with others.  This is just one stepping-stone into the many new worlds you will face, and just so you know, as long as you need me, I’ll be there.  Maybe not at the exact moment you call or the very second uncertainties arise, but I’ll be there.  And although I won’t be showing it, I’ll probably be needing you, too. 
           Stesha Whitney Photography

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